Trusting God Part Three: What “It” Is

Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Author: Mallah Rych Hurst

My earliest memories center around my mother and her great sadness after my parent’s divorce. To this day, I am not really sure when they divorced exactly…only that they did. My mother sank into a depression that blanketed my world. As far as I know, she hasn’t changed the sheets yet.

The most difficult thing for me to understand at that time was why it was that everyone I loved abandoned me. Physical and emotional abandonment dominated every single relationship that touched me; until one day, in sheer frustration I threw my hands up literally and cursed God for making me so dense. I could not figure out what He obviously was trying to tell me by my having to endure the same experience over and over again. How many times was this going to happen? How many people did I have to lose before I got ‘it’…whatever ‘it’ was.

‘It’ was a problem for me that threatened not only my own future possibilities for happiness but those of my two-year-old child as well. A child whose father abandoned me completely the very day I told him I was pregnant. A child who I could see then was going to have to endure the same heartache in his life because I could not and did not get ‘it’. How could I possibly teach him to recover from his father’s abandonment in his life when I did not understand my own father’s abandonment? How could I teach him to forgive his father and release his anger and disappointment when I still carried my own? How could I spare him the terrible hurt he was sure to carry with him over this when inside my own hurt had become so familiar. Hurt over the loss of important relationships in my life registered in my brain as a numbness that I believed was an intrinsic part of who I had become.

It did not seem right to me that my child should suffer. Somehow, at a very deep level I knew these issues were my burdens to somehow figure out and carry in this life, not his. It was clear to me that I had to do something but I didn’t know what. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t tried to figure out why I kept reliving the same dreadful loss experience over and over again. There seemed to be some message I was missing. Some lesson I was supposed to be learning and I just wasn’t getting. Still, the idea that my son would suffer so great a spiritual pain because of my inability to conquer and overcome on my own level was unacceptable to me.

Of course, I prayed but I must have been praying wrong because all I could see was confusion. All I felt was chaos. All I knew was anger over the past…and all I understood was that somehow I was going to have to get on the other side of my fear and my anger…and that was terrifying to me.

Anger was something I was never allowed to release. I came to fear that if my anger came out, I wouldn’t be able to contain it again. I would go mad with rage and possibly hurt someone—probably myself because it is not polite to by angry at someone else. I knew other people couldn’t carry my burdens. Even talking briefly of my pain with others caused them to fear my intensity, which was as strong at age ten as it was at age thirty. I was forever being called intense, serious, weird, strange — or my all time favorite, peculiar (which I actually take as a compliment to this day.)

Somewhere in counseling, I learned that anger was only the first layer of feelings. I learned that anger was what appeared outside when underneath anger was terrible hurt and disappointment and underneath that layer of emotions was fear. In my case, we are talking about fear of loss. For awhile I took to writing ‘f-you’ letters that I never mailed. I keep them around now for the laughs but also to remind myself how quiet anger can be when it is ignored for too long.

I had always been alone…alone for so long that I actually came to feel very uncomfortable in larger social situations…sometimes, even in smaller ones. The odd thing about that was that I wasn’t uncomfortable because of myself. I got uncomfortable because other people seemed so dis-at-ease with themselves. Other people it seemed didn’t know themselves very well and if they did — they didn’t seem to like who they were.

I used to have a recurring dream as a child:

I was in a room full of people when all of a sudden everyone would reach up and literally unzip their human skins right off revealing their true selves, which were wolves. They would turn to me and tell me to be who I really was. I told them I was it. I already was who I was who I was at my core.

I would awaken deeply disturbed. What could that mean? What a terrifying nightmare to have begin when one is so young! That dream visited me for years… along with many disturbing others.

Satan himself began visiting me when I was a little girl. He often took a different form but it was always him. He always had the same proposition and I, the same answer. He constantly petitioned for me to join him and his forces. I never wondered why me or for what reason he came. I came to expect his visits. Of course, I dreaded them. They were always scary. Some were painful to me physically. Some greatly disturbed and unsettled me but never once did my part of the dream vary.

I always had the same response:

‘I will never serve you. I will never follow you… so stop asking.’

You know, it didn’t occur to me until very late that my mission on this planet must have threatened him so much that he tried even going through time to stop me. It didn’t work though…no, it did not. I also dreamt myself murdered, tortured, stabbed… I saw my legs broken and my eyes poked out. I saw horrible deaths on different bodies that somehow all were me. I saw my own mother stab me several times — always in the same places and I would awaken crying and very, very upset. My mother was not sure what to think about those dreams. I didn’t dare even tell her about my visits from Satan.

I dreamt about vampires and being bitten by snakes. I dreamt about dogs and cats whose jaws I snapped open with my bare hands trying to defend myself. I dreamt about dinosaurs attacking everyone but me — and Frankenstein scaring everyone but me. I saw evil. I fought evil…but not once did I see God there in that realm. The closest I ever got was flying.

I learned to fly in my dreams at a very young age. I would hover above the demons watching them reach up for me. I would fly at rocket speed away from the chasers who sought my essence for reasons I never understood.

I was alone in my dreams fighting off the world and I was alone in my world fighting to understand. Nothing made sense! I did know God as a little child but there was a while there when I felt even God left me alone…and I, in my arrogance denounced Him publicly, while privately I wept because I could not understand why my suffering was so great!

I began writing at an early age and have found paper and pencil to be my friends…probably the first real friends I ever had. With writing I could be who I was inside without fear of judgment or criticism. I could be as honest about my thoughts as I dared and could even respond to myself if necessary. A world of opportunity opened up to me and there I found freedom, kinship, laughter and delightful consciousness. I found ‘it’ not at church groups or at home. I found ‘it’ on the pages of my journals soothing me with words of wisdom, comforting me with knowledge and blessing me with words…words that flowed out of and through my very heart and out of my hands onto paper that I could see to be able to say in this place, ‘Here! Look! Here is God! He …’it’ is here within me!’

No wonder Satan was worried.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/trusting-god-part-three-what-it-is-5919812.html

About the Author

Mallah Rych Hurst has been writing poetry, short stories, songs and essays since she was a teenager in South Central Texas. Mallah is the editor-in-chief of the on-line web magazine, The Manor Message.

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Disability, Chronic Illness, and Spirituality

A collection of disability pictograms, three of them used by the United States National Park Service via Wikipedia

By: Carolyn Magura

When I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in the mid 1980′s as a “diagnosis of exclusion” (see, my illness had been mis-diagnosed for about 25 years prior to this initial “diagnosis”) I became VERY angry with God. “Why me”, I asked. Why did I have to be the one you inflicted with this terrible disease? Why couldn’t you let the Doctors conclusively diagnose the condition? Why did I have to keep pretending that the Doctors were mistaken, just so that I could live my day-to-day life?

I was asking the wrong question, you see. Instead of asking “Why me, God?”, I should have been asking, “Why NOT me, God?” See, I was trying to become the “before the diagnosis” me, and I just could not do it. So, I went into denial, and pretended that nothing was wrong. And, as anyone who is disabled, or who is living with a chronic condition can tell you, living with a disability is hard enough without trying to become a pale image of who one might have been without the disability, i.e., trying to fit into a world designed by and for able-bodied individuals, most of whom are equally dispirited. It took me quite a while (about 10 years, actually) to come to the conclusion that I needed to stop being in denial; I needed to accept the condition, learn how to manage symptoms, and get on with a quality life. Indeed, I needed to ask, “Why not me God!” For living in denial meant that the ILLNESS DEFINED ME; I was very unhappy; I was seperated from my spirituality; I was alone; and, I contributed to disruptive events in my life.

It may sound corney, but I used my illness/disability experience as an opportunity to get in touch with the needs of my “true self”. That is, I decided to use this opportunity to take back control over my life; to recommit to my spirituality; to discover and live a quality life; and, to keep replenishing my “well” of personal happiness and satisfaction by reaching out to others in similar situations. I mean, who better to discuss about living with a chronic illness than someone who does so on a daily basis, and not just some Researcher? Who better to create a Workbook (found at www.disabilitykey.com) to assist others obtain disability insurances to which they are entitled than someone who used the process herself, and not just a theoretical social services person? Who better to create a website and an online blog where we of similar condition can chat with, and learn about extending our quality of life than someone practicing each and every day?

Does my spirituality help me in these endeavors? You bet it does! Spirituality is a quality that goes beyond involvement in a religious organization. It is a more basic construct. The highest level of our development is affected by our ability to appreciate the sacred in life; to live each day with purpose, and to find a sense of meaning and purpose for our lives. Spirituality invites each of us with disabilities and/or dealing with a chronic condition to live fully and in the present – in REALITY, the here and now. Not in denial, but in control of our lives, learning about, managing, and living each day in quality!

Research suggests that people, and in particular persons with disability, depend on spirituality and religion as an important, if not primary, method of coping with physical health problems and life stress. Most research, however, has addressed one’s involvement in religion rather than spirituality.

Although research about spirituality in the context of disability is sparse, many thoughtful writers have considered religion and spirituality to be crucial factors in adjustment to disability. BUT, we must be careful not to “blame” God, as I did, or to say that my disability is “God’s Will, or punishment for something that I did”. Saying these things isn’t taking responsibility for our lives and figuring out how to live a better life by managing symptoms. Instead, become reconnected with whatever spiritual process/religion that you find speaks to you, and live in the present with all of the gifts that you still have. Being affiliated with a specific religion can sometimes help those of us with disabilities find comfort in times of isolation and despair.

While little research has been conducted on the influence of organized religion in the context of disability, studies on the general population have been positive. For example, a 28-year follow-up of thousands of people aged 18-65 years found that the individuals who attended at least weekly religious services had lower rates of depression, smoking, and alcohol use; they also tended to have greater social support. Frequent attendees were more likely to have engaged in other healthy behaviors, including physical exercise. The effect on survival was good after other factors were taken into consideration – their risk of death was reduced by 34%.

When disability is integrated as another dimension of living, spiritual growth can take place. Please reread this red phrase again. It talks about integrating a disability or a chronic condition “as anothe dimension of living”! It means, taking back control of your life; actually “living” again, and managing symptoms as part of every day life! AND, believe me, this is not easy! If you have the opportunity to acquire the Disabilitykey Workbook, you will see that I use my actual condition as an example for others to follow. Whenever I have to focus on my “Multiple Sclerosis Symptom Impairment Matrix”, I get depressed all over again. My brother felt bad about asking me about his “condition” because he felt that it was NOTHING compared to what I cope with (more about his question in further blogs). BUT, I only concentrate on the symptom process when I need to. Otherwise, I concentrate on symptom management, and on daily living as quality a life as I can.

Integrating experiences of disability allows a person with a disability to recognize that suffering and hurtful experiences are universal conditions. It can be a time for you to discover untapped resources; it can be a time where you decide that you DO HAVE TIME TO play with your grandchildren, or read that book you have been putting off, or research your grandparents as they came to America long ago.

Spirituality is a way for people with disabilities to fulfill their potential and discover the possibilities while learning to live with and integrate their disability-related limitations and yet expand their boundaries to experience the fullness of life.

As part of my Internet research for this blog, I found the following website entitled “Faithability Religion, Spirituality and Disability Resources”. You can subscribe to the site, for free, and receive (I think – I haven’t gotten anything yet) periodic information. The site looked interesting, so here it is:

http://www.faithability.org/

Once again, your comments, thoughts, and ideas on this and other blogs are welcomed!

About The Author

Carolyn Magura

Disabilitykey.com (www.disabilitykey.com) is a website designed to assist each person in his/her own unique quest to navigate through the difficult and often conflicting and misleading information about coping with disabilities.

Carolyn Magura, noted disability / ADA expert, has written an e-Book documenting the process that allowed her to:

a) continue to work and receive her “full salary” while on Long Term Disability; and

b) become the first person in her State to qualify for Social Security Disability the FIRST TIME, in UNDER 30 DAYS.

Click here (“www.disabilitykey.com/products.htm) to receive Carolyn ‘s easy-to-read, easy-to-follow direct guide through this difficult, trying process. If you are disabled, don’t let this disabiling process disable you. Read Carolyns Disability Key Blog (www.disabilitykey.com/disabilitykeyblog.shtml).

This article was posted on January 17, 2006 at http://www.articlecity.com/articles/religion/article_253.shtml

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Keeping Secrets and Their Negative Effects

secret 1: BSG Geek by amysphere via Flickr

Author: Sonya Visor

Everybody has a secret; something about them that they never want anyone to find out. In general, secrets are inevitable and everyone will have something to hide at one point or another. Secrets help a person maintain a certain sense of individuality and uniqueness, helping make them feel distinct from everyone else.

However, keeping secrets can take a turn for the worse when they start to take control of your life. This means that the keeping of the secret has led to a ‘secret life,’ or the maintenance of a façade that revolves around this hidden fact. When secrets are of the nature that they cannot be revealed to anyone, that is the time that it results in negative effects for the bearer.

How Secrets Can Negatively Affect You

Even if it hasn’t taken on the form of a secret life for the keeper, inner conflict is one negative, inescapable effect of harboring these secrets. Do you reveal or continue concealing? Who is the best and most trustworthy person you can reveal this secret to? Are you prepared to face whatever reaction they may have to your revelation? This one question of ‘to tell or not to tell’ creates anxiety, stress, and worry, which can even be manifested physically. Such stress and worrying can affect you physically through headaches, back pains, high blood pressure, digestive problems, and even depression in some cases.

Another adverse effect of keeping secrets is that they can ultimately destroy relationships–with family, friends, spouses, and other people you may deem important in your life. Some secrets have been kept for so long and have been carried on through a façade that when it gets out, it takes everyone by surprise and eventually hurts certain relationships. Secret affairs, illnesses, addictions, or past actions can all have this effect. In some of the most extreme cases, the loss and depression that the keeper may feel over these ruined relationships may even lead them suicide just to be able to escape this very heavy consequence.

Why It’s Time to Tell

Revealing your personal secrets to someone is a step in the right direction if you want to rid yourself of the burden of hiding something from everyone for the rest of your life. Revealing your secret relieves you of all the anxiety and stress of concealing and deception. The truth is, most secret keepers are really looking for an outlet– wanting to release themselves from the burden of keeping the secret and hearing what other people have to say about it. They are looking for someone to empathize with them.

The key to successfully freeing yourself lies in the confidant you choose. You want someone you can trust and who can bring you new insight into your secret. You want a person who will listen and avoid judgment, be discreet, think constructively, and help you get through the process righting any wrongs this secret may have caused.

Who I’ve Become is NOT who I AM, is Sonya Visor’s first non-fiction book. Her passion is to minister to the people who hide behind masks. Sonya’s calling is to break and destroy the yokes of bondage, releasing the power of God into the lives of others by the preached Word and prayers of deliverance. When you can find the strength, to step into who you truly are; you can find the strength to BE THE (TRU U). TRU U is the women’s ministry that God has charged her with to help other’s become free. For more information visit http://www.sonyavisor.com/blog/

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/keeping-secrets-and-their-negative-effects-4157036.html

About the Author

Sonya Visor is the author of this article on Depression. Find more information about Christian Women here.

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The Healing Power of Love and Good Relationships

The end of the road by TimOve via Flickr

Author: Roseanna Leaton

You know what it feels like when love is first blossoming; you find that it is almost impossible to not smile, you feel as if you are walking on air and you wake up early each day feeling fantastic. To be in love feels good. Having close relationships and intimate ties to other human beings is not only good for our mental and emotional health; it is also good for our physical health as well.

This is a fact which nobody can deny; there is too much evidence which proves the point. There have been many different types of studies conducted, in communities all over the world which indicate the healing powers of love and friendship.

One study which is often cited relates to the town of Roseto in Pennsylvania, which was up until relatively recently inhabited by immigrants from a small town in Southern Italy. This community of Italian-Americans in Roseto remained very close in terms of family ties and traditions, maintaining their cultural values and religious beliefs through several generations. The inhabitants of this small town experienced significantly less heart disease than in either of the two similar sized neighboring tons. They also lived significantly longer.

When scientists began researching the Roseto phenomenon they could not find anything significantly different in terms of diet, exercise or work which could account for this community’s good health. The only thing which was different was their social cohesion and supportiveness. Researchers began to suspect that it was Roseto’s stable structure which could have protected the inhabitants from heart disease and also led to longevity.

These suspicions turned out to be well-founded, as was evidenced by the dramatic increase in heart disease in the 1960′s and 1970′s as the previously close and cohesive community began to fragment and become more isolated. Many different studies have ensued and each supports the basic belief that when we feel isolated or unsupported, our health is endangered. By contrast, when we are involved either in an intimate and loving relationship, or in a supportive community our health tends to be a whole lot better.

The thing to bear in mind is that it does not matter what type of supportive relationship you are involved in, so long as it provides you with a feeling of being cared for. For some people their religion is what provides them with this feeling, this perception of being part of something bigger and being cared for as an integral part of that community. For some this may take the form of going to church and being an active part of a church group; for others it may be a perception of our spiritual nature which provides a feeling of cohesion and connectedness.

Everyone is different in how they perceive their world and a major key to good health is to feel cohesion and connectedness. Many people may on the face of things live a life with lots of support, family and friends around them, but they might still feel a sense of isolation, and this feeling is one of the strongest predictors of heart disease. It is a matter instinctive importance to the human soul to feel supported as opposed to isolated. Yet it is not what is happening around you that matters so much as how you feel about it. One person may be alone, bur feel spiritually connected, whilst another could be surrounded by many and still feel alone.

I am reminded of a quote by Viktor Frankl which loosely runs along the lines of “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; his ability to choose his thoughts in any set of circumstances”. This quote is very empowering. This gentleman very elegantly describes how we do in fact choose our thoughts and it follows that we can change our thoughts should we wish to do so. If for any reason you are feeling isolated or alone, you can change this feeling. It may take a little effort on your part, but never the less, you can change how you feel, and you will find that hypnosis mp3 downloads are very helpful in your desire to feel a greater sense of well-being.

This is a huge topic and I am only scratching the surface here. The risk factors predicted by a sense of isolation do not just relate to heart disease and an earlier death. The whole spectrum of disease comes into play.

In a community where social cohesion has been left behind, it is important to seek new ways in which to provide yourself with a feeling of togetherness and support, to encourage the belief and understanding that you are not alone. A journey into spirituality may be just what you need.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3 downloads for health and well-being.

About the Author:

With a degree in psychology and qualifications in hypnotherapy, NLP and sports psychology, Roseanna Leaton is one of the leading practitioners of self-improvement. You can get a free hypnosis download from http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com and peruse her extensive library of hypnosis downloads for hypnosis empowerment.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – The Healing Power of Love and Good Relationships

Authenticity – Why people arent themselves and what that costs them

Diagram of Maslow's hierarchy of needs via Wikipedia

by: Bella Enahoro

Why should you be yourself? The simple answer is ‘because everyone else is taken’ – it’s both the simple answer and an accurate answer. The important question is ‘why are we not ourselves?’ What is the pay off for not being ourselves? Ahhh, now we’re talking.

To begin with, what would cause us to not want to be ourselves? For some of us, we may have been raised in environments where it was dangerous to be who we are. Even as adults we may be working in environments that demand that we be other than who we are in order to ensure job security. So we conclude, I have to be other than I am to get what I want i.e. love, safety, income etc.

We may have learned to believe ‘who I am is not good enough to be loved, guaranteed safety, approved of’. We may have been told ‘who you are is not worth treating well’. We may have learned ‘who you are is not good enough to meet my standards for ‘being good enough’. We may become convinced that we are less than we should be.

When we feel not good enough what happens to our lives? We end up putting things on hold until we feel we ‘deserve’ by becoming good enough. We spend so much time striving to feel that we’re good enough. Have I accomplished enough, am I good looking enough, is my car big/fast/exclusive enough, is my job title high enough, do I have enough awards to be good enough? Exhausting isn’t it?

Self worth and authenticity are intrinsically linked. The worth we have in our own eyes, a sense of worth not built on acquisition, job title, appearance, credentials – is the only worth, worth living out of. How many of us realise that we have an intrinsic worth greater than anything on the outside? If we go through life with a sense of being deficient then we are motivated to acquire value – the things that others value in the world then become our aim in life. I may not be good enough in and of myself but look what I’ve got, becomes our calling card.

Sooner or later, things fall apart, if we’re lucky. It can take many forms e.g we can lose everything we spent our whole lives accruing or we meet someone or a situation who places no value on our ‘social bling’. We run helter skelter trying to get them to ‘see’ us as our bling or we go somewhere else. But there’s a crack in the tea cup. When it finally breaks open, our break down becomes our breakthrough.

We begin to look for another way. What we’ve been looking for is a way to feel good about who we are, under all circumstance. We don’t always realise it at first since there’s much howling in pain and hanging onto fast disappearing ‘bling’.

The breakthrough cracks us wide open and everything we’ve been taught is ‘wrong’ with us, all the things we’ve been taught make us ‘not good enough’ stare us in the face. Excruciating at first but if we stay, refuse to take flight, we can transform. Now begins the re-acquainting ourselves with the ‘real’ us, all of it.

There are many transformation technologies from journaling, meditation, prayer, walking, body work, sound, vibrational healing. We tend to gravitate towards one that works for us. Soon the pain subsides, loses its edge. We don’t feel so raw. Our lives may be in shambles around us but we can stand to be alive and increasingly we can stand to be ourselves. We live in a time of infinite help with wonderful teachers who can assist us in moving out of our debris; emotional, psychological and spiritual.

Not being who we are, may be something we picked up at our beginning but was never a part of our being and we need not continue with it.

November’s LiveWell Audio features Sarah Ban Breathnach who guides the listener on a journey to reclaim our authentic selves and the beauty of the life we can create from our ‘real’ selves.

About The Author:  Bella Enahoro is the founder of http://www.livewellaudio.com a Motivational company that helps individuals,non-profits and companies improve their lives, build communities, profts and positive impact. Visit her website for the latest on audiobooks, downloads and articles on self-help, personal growth, professional development and spirituality.

The author invites you to visit: http://www.livewellaudio.com

Article Source: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_9357.shtml

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Meditation For Losing Weight

Image: Chi Chang Wu via Wikipedia

Author: Maria Bende

There are several studies showing that meditation for losing weight is working quite well. Weight loss in said to be helped by the power of your own mind more than any diet that you might try. The mind is really a strong healer, maybe the most powerful one that exists.

Scientists and medical practitioners have started seeing the relationship between the intent of losing weight and using meditation for accomplishing this and several doctors and psychologists are already incorporating various self-hypnosis and meditation techniques with their clients or patients.

There are many people who have been helped with weight loss meditations and in fact these meditations can be practiced at home, even without the help of a third party helper.

This is a lot of money saved in the process as well. So how can you use meditation for weight loss if you are struggling with a helpless dieting problem?

Creative visualization meditation using one of the easy meditation postures such as simply sitting in a chair or cross legged on the floor is one of the most powerful ones for dieting. Basically when you are are stressed, you are eating to compensate for your agitated state of mind. Once you start meditating, you release your stress, which means that the extra food craving is no longer there, or at least, the urge to eat is not as strong as before. And this is the first step to truly lose weight.

Creative visualization means that when you are meditating with your eyes closed, you are basically visualizing yourself slim, healthy and happy, in the way you want to become. In your mind’s eye you are passing along a store window and you are looking at your own reflection. This image shows a beautiful person, slim and without a worry in the world. The person is energetic, healthy and feeling light. You notice that there is a new vigor in your step.

This type of meditation is in direct contrast with the usual mental images we have in our mind. Let’s face it, we always imagine ourselves fat, ugly, not loved by anyone and in turn this image makes us depressed and feeling constantly in a bad mood. And in turn, this bad mood brings us doubts that we can actually do it. And these doubts bring with them stress which makes us crave food, and the negative cycle goes on and on.

The creative visualization above (or anything similar to this) cuts this catch 22, breaks this negative cycle and helps us find ourselves again. It helps us start fresh with our goal in mind, the goal that will serve use well in our quest to lose weight and get our slim waistline back.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/meditation-articles/meditation-for-losing-weight-4367492.html

About the Author

Learn more easy meditation techniques such as the alpha meditation and many more by visiting http://www.meditation-techniques-made-easy.com/.

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“Conversation With Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski”

World chronicle in verse, scene: The Tower of Babel via Wikipedia

Author: Alan D. Busch

The following essay was made possible by the kindness and generosity of Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski, founder and medical director emeritus of Gateway Rehabilitation Center, prolific author of more than sixty books, weekly columnist of ‘Seeking Solutions’ in Hamodia Magazine and acclaimed expert in matters of addiction.

‘Making Arrangements’

The origins of this piece were rather humble. I had been thinking about contacting Rabbi Twerski through a mutual friend but decided against it in favor of a more direct approach. So I wrote a letter of introduction to Rabbi Twerski on Facebook, hoping for the best.

Two days passed. Though I was still hopeful he would respond via Facebook, thoughts of ‘Oh well, Rabbi Twersky is, after all, a very busy man’ began chipping away at my confidence.

It was while working at home that my phone rang, a number I did not recognize. So, as is my practice, I let it go to voice message: ‘Hello Alan, this is Dr. Twerski responding to your email. Call me at (123) 456-7890.’

Well, after I picked myself up off the floor, I hurriedly replayed the message and managed to miscopy the number Rabbi Twerski had left. I called the same wrong number twice.

‘Something is amiss here,’ I thought, worriedly. Anxious to respond promptly, I listened to his message again. ‘Oh my G-d!’ The (7) I had written was a (0). Go figure. I finally dialed the right number and left another message. He called me back later that same evening.

Rabbi Twerski’s tight schedule precluded a face to face interview as I had anticipated. Happily, I was prepared with an alternative.

‘Rabbi, may I send you a series of questions to answer around which I’d construct an essay, an ‘email interview’ if you will.’

‘Sounds fine with me.’ Then suddenly, just as we were about ready to hang up, my phone went dead. I hastened to email and call him back, leaving another voice message. (Just in case you’re wondering, I’m not always this neurotic.)

The difference between an email interview and one held face to face is obvious but nonetheless important: missing from the email interview is the richness of the interviewee’s body language, his facial expressiveness, his eyes from which one sees the reflection of the fire that fuels the passion of people who work for ‘The Ribono Shel Olam (The Master of the World).’

With all arrangements finalized, I breathed a big sigh of relief and set out to work on my questions grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

I fashioned my questions covering a wide spectrum, from the cosmological to the everyday.
I received his answers later that same day.

Well, I don’t mind telling you I was ‘pretty darn’ excited that such an acclaimed rabbi, noted psychiatrist and prolific author-who wrote in one of his responses that: ‘I write every chance I get’-should find the ‘chance’ to write to me.

‘My Format’

I have selected four of Rabbi Twerski’s seven responses on which to focus for two reasons: 1) they interest me more than the others and 2) I found his remarks helpful in clarifying my own thoughts.

As needed, I have used material from Rabbi Twerski’s website: www.abrahamtwerski.com that I encourage my readers to visit.

1. ‘The Gift of Speech’
2. ‘The Language of Bereavement’
3. ‘Origins of Life’
4. ‘On the Meaning of Happiness’

Man is a ‘medaber’, a speaking creature, who alone has been gifted with speech of a sort unlike that of any of His other creatures. Even among those species often cited for their higher native intelligence, it remains true their most capable representative cannot formulate a cooperative plan with his fellow, write a letter, read a book or for that matter, conduct an interview.

Like mathematics, speech is neither inherently good nor bad. It can be used to build a bridge or blow one up. Its effect on human action depends on the mouth from which it comes. As we’re all aware, human speech is not a force for good in every instance.

Did not G-d confound Man’s speech as a punishment for his attempt to construct the Tower of Babel (from which we derive the word ‘babble’) to lay siege to heaven? Can you imagine, the ‘chutzpah’?

Rabbi Twerski, however, takes this notion of ‘Man’ as ‘medaber’, a speaking creature, one step further.

‘The uniqueness of man is not just that he has a more sophisticated form of speech, but that he can elevate it to holiness. By using his speech properly, by not speaking foolishly, by avoiding defamatory speech and carrying tales, man can sanctify his speech. This is something that animals cannot do, and it is this ability to sanctify speech that merits the designation ‘medaber’.’

In other words, that which distinguishes human speech from other animal sounds is that Man directs his divine gift of speech in a message with which to thank his Maker.

We call this sort of speech ‘prayer’ which, by its nature, reflects the reciprocity of the ‘Creator/created’ relationship-in which G-d both hears and responds to our supplications. Were our god always unresponsive or incapable of response, we’d not be worshipping G-d but practicing ‘avodah zara’, idolatry.

Although our relationship to G-d is that of a ‘slave’ to his master made manifest through the mitzvah of tefilin, it is precisely within the sacred space Man shares with G-d that their personal relationship begins.

It is entirely unlike the relationship between master and slave which characterized chattel slavery in the United States prior to the Civil War which Rabbi Twerski characterizes as a system in which ‘slaves had no inalienable rights (a small detail that President Jefferson failed to mention in the Declaration of Independence) and are obligated to follow the master’s orders. Slaves have only duties. Slaves do not have rights.’

An important personal concern over these past ten years since the death of my son Benjamin on November 22, 2000 continues to be the delicate language of mourning and grief. So I asked Rabbi Twerski what he thought one shouldn’t say to a bereaved parent.

‘The Talmud says to be silent until the bereaved person speaks’, thereby setting the tone for the ‘shiva’, the first seven days of mourning. Adding that ‘Listening is helpful’ when many folks (who want to do the right thing) find themselves at a loss for words, Rabbi Twerski reminds us to keep in mind that: ‘Genuine caring is sharing’.

My own experience demonstrates the truthfulness of ‘caring is sharing’ although it took me some time before I realized how my withdrawal from synagogue life was not only not making me any happier but was deepening the well of grief due to my self-imposed isolation.

Had it not been for a handful of my dear friends who refused to let go and, in so doing, gave me enough space within which to come to terms with my grief at my own pace, I would surely have drowned in a sea of self-pity.

Often times words are just not enough. Many folks want to help the bereaved but are unsure about what to say; these would be consolers may instead turn to deeds of loving kindness with which to express themselves.

Anyone who has ever lost a loved one, especially a child, knows that both emotional support and physical closeness of friends and family are essential for the bereaved parent to climb out of the deep and dark well of unmanaged grief.

There are few truisms as often quoted for their wisdom as ‘one never really appreciates all that he has until he loses it irretrievably’.

Staring into the face of death, having to say ‘goodbye’ to son or daughter-no matter how many or few their days-leads some sufferers to the contemplation of ‘beginnings’ … origins, the origins of life.

The bereaved are drawn to this place because they feel they’ll discover the shadow of G-d behind the veil of ‘beginnings’.

I asked Rabbi Twerski whether he felt ‘G-d had withheld from Man the capability to fathom certain primal problems. For example, can ‘Man’ understand the mechanism whereby chemistry became biology, how inanimateness became life?

‘In ‘Faith & Fossils’, Rabbi Twerski began, ‘Prof. Aviezer cites a physicist who said that the possibility of a simple bacteria developing from inanimate material is a mathematical absurdity.’

If indeed that is true, it may lead us toward the conclusion that there is a Creator who did not ‘issue a pass’ to Man to enter this restricted area, never intending for him to be able to crack the divine code. ‘What good then,’ I wondered, ‘does it do Man by continuing to explore?’

‘The origin of life is beyond human comprehension,’ but Rabbi continued on to say that ‘we should use our intelligence to understand whatever is within our ability.’

Can you imagine the consequences for mankind were scientists to throw up their hands in frustration: ‘Oh to Hell it with it all’ and throw in the towel simply because they hadn’t yet put the entire puzzle together, and perhaps might never be able to do so?

I won’t but mention the on-going debate between those who dabble in the cosmological ether of godless cynicism and those who argue in favor of The Creator who created Man ‘on the sixth day’ but stopped short of giving him all of the keys.

We distinguish between Man’s ‘journey’ and ‘destination’ and, no matter how unreachable he may think his destination is, that alone does not excuse him from undertaking the journey.

What has any of this to do with attaining happiness?

Clarity in communication depends upon definition because we know that different people often understand the same word differently.

‘People think of happiness as being content, without worries (that befits a cow),’ Rabbi Twerski began, as if to say that-if one were sated, having been fed, milked as it were and, generally speaking, well cared for by another-this is the ideal state of happiness toward which Man should strive.

Nothing could be further from the truth, Rabbi Twerski asserts, any more than the ‘joyous experience’ induced by cocaine can correctly define ‘happiness’.

‘I believe that true happiness is self-fulfillment, when a person strives to become everything he can be,’ a notion that implies limitations Man must accept lest he come to overestimate his importance and forget that as high as he thinks the pinnacle is upon which he sits, even the most everyday of clouds floats higher than he.

When he has gone as far as the road permits without blaming the map from which he navigated his route can he only then be happy, without defining his limits as failures.

‘The wisest thing a person can do,’ which will allow him to attain happiness ‘is to build a firm bond with G-d.’

Only then will he be able to assert along with the ancient prophets of Israel: ‘Blessed is the man who trusts in HaShem so that HaShem is his security.’

Alan D. Busch
alandbusch@aol.com
03/01/11

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/judaism-articles/conversation-with-rabbi-dr-abraham-j-twerski-4336879.html

About the Author

Alan D. Busch is an independent writer in Skokie, Illinois, married to Kallah and the father of Benjamin, Z’L, Kimberly and Zac. He is currently working on the completion of his second book, a memoir about his late father and enjoys the good fortune of being published in a variety of media in both prose and poetry. His writing is centered upon though not limited to Jewish themes. Please ‘google’ his name for more details or contact him on Facebook. He is the author of Snapshots In Memory of Ben, Water Forest Press, 2007, a contributing author to Everyone’s Got A Story, edited by Ruchama King Feuerman and a community member contributing writer for the Chicago Tribune’s Triblocal.com for Skokie, IL.

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Help Always, Hurt Never

The kindness of strangers by Ed Yourdon via Flickr

Revenge, the desire to hurt others who have hurt us, only bears bitter fruit. It hurts those whom we have inflicted our wrath upon. And it hurts us, because no single act in the universe goes unrewarded. From that singular act, our own consciousness is wounded by the expression of our animalism.

Nations pride themselves on the swiftness of their retribution but inevitably collapse in on themselves because the seeds of discontent that they sow, hurts all of life. Rome, the greatest civilization that the world had ever known, built on the finest arts and sciences known to the ancient world, the epitome of legal and architectural order, collapsed from within, destroyed by its own impulse to use its mighty force to strike out and subdue.

Today our world is dying because of this impulse to strike out.

We are destroying each other at an alarming rate, both individually and collectively.

And even the earth itself, is collapsing at a faster rate than we can repair. Scientists now estimate that by the year 2050, we will have exhausted the earth of all its natural resources.

The science that we celebrate, the genius of our efforts, are wasted on destructive uses. Instead of using the power of the nucleus to build great civilizations we are busy using it to stockade bombs.

Billions of dollars that could be used to heal the broken places on our planet are used to send people to horrific deaths.

When we seek to hurt life, we hurt ourselves, for we are life.

Revenge it is said is a dish best served cold; but whether it is served with cold deliberation or hot reaction, it is a dish in whose very preparation we imbue a poison that will return to destroy us.

The greatest illusion is this: that we can hurt and not be hurt, that we can wound another and remain unscathed. When we inflict harm upon another, we inflict harm upon ourselves. What goes around comes around. A rudimentary study of history will prove this.

When we love, we reach out to align with life, to nurture and make others better, and in that act, we redeem ourselves from our own past follies.

This love is a precious act. It is our extension of spiritual power in the world. It is a moment of sympathy and support that we have for life. When you bend down and help a child tie its shoelaces, you are tying up all the knots of the world. When you listen in silence and understand another’s intention, you are spreading the meme of empathy through all of time and space, for thoughts are cosmic waves that do not know any barriers.

As we extend love to others, it comes back to us.

Yet we cannot love others unless we love ourselves as well.

We cannot live without making mistakes of judgment and do things that we will later regret, because we are na?ve and do foolish things out of that naivety. But we do grow, and looking back at the harm we have invoked, we feel grief. Our act of love, then, is to forgive ourselves. Yet instead of taking this simple act, we damn ourselves repeatedly, and in this way, we still hurt life, because we are life.

When we feel the urge to strike out, we must remember how it feels to have the wound inflicted upon our own flesh, because everything returns to the author of a deed.

Help always, hurt never. Do this and your life will be a blessing to the world and you must reap the harvest from what you have sown.

Source: http://www.articlecircle.com/ – Free Articles Directory

About the Author

Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas with you. Hunting everywhere for a life worth living? Discover the life of your dreams. His book, Never Ever Give Up is offered at no cost to stimulate your success. http://www.theempoweredsoul.com/enter.html

Your Behavior Is Your Belief

Image: Mizunoryu via Wikipedia

Your behavior IS your belief. Ouch! Most folks don’t want that to be true when they first hear it. How about you?

I was speaking at a conference and it was lunchtime. I was sitting at a table of participants and we shared a lovely meal. The coffee was served and we were relaxing, I thought.

The woman next to me leaned in and whispered,

“I know coffee is not good for me and I don’t really drink coffee. I need a pick-me-up and just thought this was a special occasion.” She was almost apologetic. I whispered back and affirmed,

“You’re a coffee drinker.” She protested mightily.

“Oh, no, I’m really not!” I smiled and told her that indeed she was a coffee drinker as she was indeed drinking coffee!

Her behavior was her belief. Coffee drinkers drink coffee. Non-coffee drinkers do not. It’s that simple. Now, a few basic things were true aside from her behavior:

• I have no feelings, thoughts or judgments about whether or not a human being and coffee are a healthy combination. Every body is different. It was her projection that, because she thought she ought not to be drinking coffee, I shared her opinion.

• She was endeavoring to be pre-emptive and pro-active. IF, by any chance, I did care about her drinking coffee, she was going to set me straight about her usual behavior and, hopefully, remove any thoughts I might have about her caring about her health, knowing the effects of caffeine, or questioning her self-discipline.

• She was fooling herself and wasting a lot of time and energy. A simple decision was required. Either decide coffee is fine or that it is not. Behave accordingly.

Do you have any of these crooked-thinking habits? Are you pretending—especially to yourself—that you want to go in one direction while your behavior is definitely going in another? It’s very common. Good intentions make great conversation and we feel better about ourselves while making it! We create our own hell by becoming impostors!

Sure, the coffee story seems harmless enough, but, it’s a simple example. Lying to ourselves is a travesty. (No, it’s not fibbing, telling a little white lie or stretching the truth. It’s simply lying!) We need to be able to trust ourselves. Living in alignment with what we say we believe is a wonderful way to steer clear of the anxiety, fear and chaos that living a double life creates.

Where could you improve the alignment between your beliefs and your behavior? Your behavior really demonstrates your belief–even about drinking coffee!

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Source: http://www.articlecircle.com/ – Free Articles Directory

About the Author

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, has helped thousands to see life differently. Through many years as a transpersonal psychologist, she has assisted people in all phases of life from those facing death and despair to those seeking solutions to the practical problems of living. Dr. Shaler is the founder of Spiritual Living Network™ and you are invited to join at www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com.

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Yogi based in Mumbai claims to have solutions for health problems of Hollywood celebrities

Bhagavad Gita, a 19th century manuscript via Wikipedia

Special to Earthpages.org

A yogi based in Mumbai (India) has claimed that he could cure Hollywood celebrities, even those with terminal illnesses, without any drugs or fees.

Vir Balahara, who is reverently known as “Virjee”, is not your ordinary yogi. He retired as Director General of Income Tax of India. Atheist most of his earlier life, he found inner-light when he was around 40 and started exploring it further. After his about 23 years of self-exploration, he felt ready to take his mission and “new awareness” globally to help the sick.

Balahra has studied health issues of Hollywood celebrities and says that he can treat drug-alcohol-smoking addictions, emotional and physical breakdowns, weight and diet related problems, ageing related complaints, etc.; and can help them achieve their anti-ageing and fitness goals. He does not charge any fees for his treatment as he believes in “selfless action” advocated by ancient Sanskrit scripture Bhagavad-Gita.

”Virjee” has thrown an open invitation to Hollywood celebrities to visit him in Mumbai and promises that they will return to Hollywood healthy and vibrant. Although his technique is complex, but in simpler terms it seems to be based around pranayam (exercising control over the process of breathing). He feels that some hidden force is leading him by holding his hand. At 63, he runs about 15 kilometers a day and calls it “meditation par excellence” and claims that he has more “strength, stamina, positivity and enthusiasm” now than he had when he was 40 when his inner journey began.

Hindu statesman Rajan Zed, in a statement in Nevada (USA) today, applauded Balahara for his selfless project to bring happiness back on the faces of sick. It was highly commendable that somebody like Balahara was willing to share his wisdom gathered after grueling hours of meditation and self-exploration for over two decades and without any mercantile greed, Zed, who is president of Universal Society of Hinduism, added.

“It was mostly journey within”, Balahara tells about his “new awareness” experience. Although the exploration continues, but he feels that it is time now to bless others with the energy and transfer some of his light to them. His treatment changes the participant as a whole—physically, mentally, and spiritually. Why is he focusing on Hollywood celebrities—because they bring smile on the faces of the people worldwide, he wants to bring smile back on their faces.

Balahara says that healthy and lively is our normal state and we usually get sick when we interfere with the functioning of our body by consuming allopathic drugs and wrong breathing and food habits. He claims that death (barring accidental cases) does not come until we give up and ask for it.

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