I Remember… A Prayer for the Dead and the Spiritually Dead

All Souls Day has passed but since the Church still has its Book of Remembrance out during the month of November I thought I’d do an Alternative Remembrance and write about some who have either died (RIP) or died spiritually (PFT… that is, Pray For Them).

Part 1 is a work of fiction and no identification with actual persons (living or deceased) or actual events is intended or should be inferred (except for Minnie, who is real).

This work contains mature themes and depictions of violence. It is not suitable for minors.

PART I – Scary Monsters, Super Creeps and a few Good Guys and Gals: They say God Loves Them All

I Remember…

Jenny, who died too young of an incurable disease. Jenny was the light of the party. She is probably the only woman I loved without falling into temptation. Not because she wasn’t pretty – she was – but because she was sacred. And everybody knew it. Sometimes platonic love is right and just. (RIP)

The Lizard King knows everything

Johnny was a fun, clever guy who got a huge chip on his shoulder when his grades were too low to get into university. Things went from bad to worse when he became a neo-Nazi. He does a bit of work here and there for Zeke (see below). (PFT)

Zeke was an overseas student who made some bad choices. Zeke is now working on destroying democracy as a hostile spy and hoping he doesn’t end up in hell—or jail, for that matter. Part of Zeke’s initiation was ditching a stiff’s body parts in plastic bags. Charming fellow. His wife still thinks that was beef she saw in the freezer. (PFT)

Peanuckle is Zeke’s apprentice/stooge at the workplace. She despises Zeke and is secretly plotting to overthrow him. Evil people never really get along. Peanuckle is a lot like Zeke but not as smart or evolved to worry about hell. (PFT)

Deputy Dog is one of those dullards who think they are smart but are really very mediocre. He is totally under the thumb of Zeke. “But I learned French!” he will blurt out as they carry him off to jail for conspiring with the enemy. (PFT)

Bill was a great guy who was intelligent, cultured and played the flute. I think he might have been gay but I’m not sure. If he was we’ll never know because he died tragically young in a car accident. (RIP)

Sam wasn’t my best friend in the world but he died young in a car accident too. Dying young just sucks. (RIP)

Jake. A really nice guy who got hit by lightning and died young. He wrote about it before it happened. Tragic premonition. But if he knew I guess it was meant to be? (RIP)

Zack swindled his way into an early death through drinking and fraud. Zack was a bit weird but had undeniable charisma and a good heart. (RIP)

And a shift to reality…

Minnie was our cat who got some kind of feline neurological disorder and lost her sense and sensibility. We tried everything to keep her safely in the home. But when she got tangled up in a fishing net around a fallen lamp we felt it was time to say farewell. A sad and unpleasant experience “putting her down,” as they euphemistically say. (RIP)

Minnie, Earthpages’ first CEO.

PART II – StationToStation

The following are obviously real people who have passed but my imaginings about some of them are probably just that—imaginings.

Famous people whom I have liked, loved or adored:

Johnny Cash, who was just so real, inside and outside of prison. He sang about walking the line (not cheating on the road) even if he didn’t. Who among us is perfect?

David Bowie, whose larger than life songs helped me through some teen and adult transformations. Apparently, he’d like to come and see us but he thinks he’d blow our minds!

Hank Williams Sr. is probably my favorite entertainer of all time. I wandered so aimless life filled with sin… ‘Nuff said.

George Harrison. Still waiting for those heavenly guitar lessons. Talkin’ ’bout channeling the Beatle. Hasn’t happened yet… and still my guitar gently weeps.

Frank Zappa. Frank still inspires. But he never told us where to buy those zircon encrusted tweezers. Oh well. Free speech forever. Yeah! And btw, it is a Sears poncho, I got in on sale when the chain was going out of business.

Mr. Jimi. I shake my head when I think of Jimi. Too much acid. Not enough God? Have you ever been experienced? Well I have!

Avicii. Godammit he inspired me. When he died my bedroom music died too. (RIP)

John Lennon. John, John, John (shaking my head again). I think he finally realized in the afterlife that worldly fame is all b.s. He’s so rightly famous we won’t dwell on him here. But I would like to give peace a chance.

Bob Marley. Well Bob, it’s legalized now in Canada. I don’t know if that would have hurt or helped your career!

Elvis. Just before my time but everybody loves him. So I guess I do too.

Frank Sinatra. Wow. I went through a huge Frank phase in my middling years and felt like he was a kind of second father. What else can I say?

Ella Fitz. Can you fall in love with a ghost? I think so.

Jim Morrison. People are strange when you’re a stranger. Incredibly talented singer. Often overlooked as such. Also a ladies man whose borderline genius attracted many a wild child, full of grace. Where can I get some of that?

Patsy Cline. Brilliance and tragedy. I still listen to her “After Midnight” in the car at the same hour as the song. It’s positively stellar.

Buddy Holly. Too good to be true. That’s why God took him.

Janis Joplin. Well, if I need to sandpaper something I don’t need any paper. Just blast “Me and Bobby McGee” and all rough edges are smoothed and debris will go flying.

Johnny Carson. The true king of comedy. He was making risqué golf ball jokes way before all hell broke loose and vulgar speech became the norm.

William Shakespeare. Reaching back a bit but wasn’t he great? “Throw physic to the dogs; I’ll none of it.” Basically, the venerable bard was saying doctors are full of it and only sucker suckers. Gotta remember medical science was a farce back then. Bloodletting, leeches… whatever.

Sorry if I missed anyone. Time to go watch TV…


So wake me up when it’s all over

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