Most of us have been in a serious relationship. Only the truly saintly or socially awkward have never been in any kind of serious relationship. Maybe someone was wounded as a child. Maybe they are reluctant to come out.

Whatever.

In most cases, loners gradually overcome their personal issues and learn to get along with another person and even groups.

But what if a significant other has not been straight with you? What if they’ve been hiding some deep horrible secret for countless years?

Has your whole life been an empty deception ever since you took those wedding vows?

Well, maybe.

But maybe not.

If you are harboring doubts about your significant other, you need to pick a good tranquil time to confront the issue.

Let’s say a husband has locked his wife out from his computer with a strict battery of passwords. There’s no point trying to hack into his computer while he’s off at work or in the shower. If he’s clever you won’t get past the welcome screen.

The thing to do is ask him why. What is so sensitive that he cannot share it with you?

After all, a good, healthy relationship depends on mature, adult communication. If he can’t communicate with you, you need to admit that something is terribly wrong.

Of course, it might be a bit of adult porn that he’s ashamed of. Not illegal in most countries but not exactly heavenly stuff, either.

The Glass House

Barring that, it could be something far more serious. And you as his significant other have every right to know what’s going on. You live with this person. They affect you. They made promises and vows. You need to hold them accountable.

So ask – again, during a tranquil time – why he’s locking you out. You can admit that you were curious and looked—or tried to look at his computer. After all, honesty is a two-way street and you can get the ball rolling by making a little confession of your own.

If he gets angry and makes up all sorts of flimsy excuses why you cannot see what’s on his hard drive (and perhaps cloud drives), you might consider talking to a third party whom you can trust.

You cannot go on blindly if this person is indeed hiding something awful from you. Who knows, if he’s doing something illegal or worse, systematically illegal, it could put you in jeopardy.

So try talking. And if that doesn’t work, get help.