I don’t normally post stories like this but the horrific story of Gabby Petito has stopped many of us in our tracks. This young, beautiful woman quit her job at an organic juice bar to travel and start up a blog. She wanted a fresh start.
We still don’t know what happened but from the video at the above linked page it seems pretty clear that something was wrong in her relationship with Brian Laundrie.
Myself, I have this kind of inner meter that always measures the pros and cons of any relationship. And the second the cons become greater than the pros, I begin to wonder if it’s time to move on. The problem is, not everyone always agrees or peacefully lets go when the other feels it is time to move on.
Some people are interpersonally inept, neurotic or even borderline psychotic. And ditching them can trigger their worst impulses and lack of self-control.
So whenever that internal meter goes into the red where the cons are greater than the pros, I don’t waste any time. I plan my retreat. Sometimes if the other person is a bully or cheat, you have to retreat slowly or they could react too strongly. Other times, it’s just best to cut it immediately.
It really depends on the situation. That’s why I don’t buy into those pop-psychology articles telling you their way to get out of a bad relationship is the only or best way.
However, one thing is constant. If we are in a bad relationship with no solution in sight, we really do have to walk away—either quickly or in slow, measured steps.