A new study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that a shared sense of reality plays a central role in friendship and love. Some people feel they β€œclick” from the outset… (paraphrase)Β 

Source: Psychologists identify “shared reality” as a key component of close relationships


This article uses the word “perceived” quite a bit. Couples perceive that they share a reality. They don’t really know for sure. And I think that’s an important thing to remember not only in direct interpersonal affairs but also with long-distance, arguably ‘spiritual’ connections.

I walk very gingerly when talking about spiritual connections. Some folks seem just too hard-headed to get what I am alluding to. And as the biblical Jesus says, it is unwise to cast your pearls before swine. Because, as the Bible also says, they will turn and trample what’s dear to you (Matthew 7:6).

Discretion is the word. Or, in a more Catholic sense, discernment. We hope to discern whether someone is worthy to hear our inner secrets, our inner lives. Sometimes we hint at it. We use parables. We use analogies. We imply rather than outright say.

It would be great if we could always just say things. But again, the world is too mired in worldliness for many to appreciate some of the finer points of genuine, adult spirituality.

Myself, I am even careful with many Christians and churchgoers. Just because someone wears a cross, reads the Bible, or goes to Mass does not, in my view guarantee a mature, psychologically integrated spirituality.

But that’s okay. That’s the way things are.

And there’s nothing wrong with being cautious because, really, anyone can be deceived into believing things that aren’t real or real as we imagined them.

God knows I have made some mistakes along the way. The difference between me and a madperson or fanatic, I would argue, is that I admit and learn from my mistakes. Some, however, do not.

Always question. That’s key to a genuine spiritual life. Also, pray for knowledge of God’s plan for you.

You might be surprised by what comes up! 😁