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When We Cross Over – Do We Have Emotional Needs?

heaven knows what I want by Thomas Mues

Heaven knows what I want by Thomas Mues via Flickr

By Afterlife Phil G

From Cincinnati, a reader asks “Afterlife Phil G”: Is it possible that those who have died have any emotional needs, like belonging or comfort or just to know someone loves them? Here, Phil shares his insight and answer on spirit contact and the afterlife

HI Gloria, thanks for your questions about how we feel after crossing over. I think they want to be with us, help us, and guide us. I say this because I’ve just replied to someone who was almost involved with someone, but never quite got there, and now feels closer to this person than her actual husband, and she’s quite frustrated by it all. But I don’t think they want to be in a relationship like we picture it. I think it’s more a case of simply wanting to be with us, or help us.

My advice to her was to find a purpose in life, and perhaps let him help her find it. I know several who have done this, and found much joy and purpose in life, still connected with their special person who has crossed over, but with a purpose for their own lives.

I don’t know if they have emotional needs, but they absolutely have emotion. It’s like the end line in the film “Ghost” where Patrick says “The love inside, you take it with you” I feel is so true. I know in readings, it’s quite common where there’s a strong emotional bond (e.g. partners, or parents) for me to feel totally overwhelmed by their grief (on the other side) and it’s not uncommon for me to be in tears not able to adequately share the words, but totally share the feeling, with those sitting in front of me. So whilst I don’t feel they “blame” us, they most certainly hold the emotion of love, caring and so on.

I know they do try to help us. I don’t generally feel they NEED our acceptance or love, but certainly there are times when they do. My own father-in-law desperately wanted my wife to forgive him for not treating her better (he wasn’t bad to her, just didn’t accept her and support her as he should have). In suicide cases, I know there is a desperate longing from those who have crossed over, to be forgiven by those they leave behind – like they didn’t realise the devastation they would leave behind.

You ask about the range of emotion they feel. If I can hand over to my guys on ‘the other side’ for a moment: “We’re comfortable within ourselves (on the other side), but especially for those who have recently crossed, it’s like they have so much homework to complete and they need to tick things off the list before they can become calm. Like going to sleep. If there’s a whole lot on your mind, you can’t rest properly until you’ve done those things, then you can relax and go to sleep.

If we have a lot to do, a lot to say, it’s like when you want to tell a friend lots of things, and they want to hear about something else, but you can’t talk about that yet because you HAVE to deal with these other things first”.

I’ll leave out a few things that were for my reader, personally, but she asks about anger. Where there is anger from those who have crossed over, it generally subsides after a while. I rarely find they hold the anger.

Do they have needs we can meet? Acceptance. I think they can TRY to influence us, help us, guide us, but they can’t MAKE us do anything, and I think they derive enormous satisfaction that we first of all listen, and secondly accept they’re there. The ‘asking for proof’ that I suggest (on my website on spirit contact afterlifephilg.com) only works for a while, because after a while, you KNOW the difference between your own thoughts and theirs, and it gets tiresome to them to keep proving things – and that shows them you don’t accept what they share. I know that annoys them after a while! So I think our greatest gift to them, that they want, long for, perhaps not need, but strongly desire, is an acceptance of them, their actions in the physical world whether they were good or bad, their presence in our lives now, and their willingness to help us where needed.

Negative feelings? I think I’ve already touched on that, but I think the negativity floats away. Like when you meditate, as you relax, no matter how much ‘negative’ feeling you have, if you relax long enough, you just give up on that feeling and let it go, so in that sense, I think they probably have those feelings to start with, but let them go.

I hope this helps you, and my readers, have a greater understanding of how to accept and deal with loved ones who have crossed over. For more information visit my website on spirit contact (afterlifephilg.com) and especially have a look at the CD “Contacting The Afterlife”.

About the Author:

“Afterlife Phil G” hails from Australia. In 2002 he made an accidental discovery – that ordinary people like you, can contact Family and Friends in the Afterlife – and verify the experience really happened. More available from his website: afterlifephilg.com

Article Source: ArticlesBase.comWhen We Cross Over – Do We Have Emotional Needs?

Note – Since this article was first published, there have been some changes to articlesbase.com. I have simply left the original links intact. — MC

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Being in the Now

Photo Credit: Hamed Saber

In the Shadow of a Flower by Hamed Saber via Flickr

By Dr. Jennifer Howard

For over 20 years, I have been working with clients, both as a psychotherapist and spiritual teacher. There has been a lot of recent attention given to the topic of “being in the now” and “being in the present moment.” This experience can be life changing, lasting minutes, hours, days, a lifetime or can come and go. There is a common thread that people experience when they move into “being in the now.” It is an opening into an inner stillness and a distinct feeling of a background and foreground shift. This opening is a taste of the Divine or Universe or God which rightly feeds our spiritual longing for more.

This concept is not new; spiritual paths have always talked about being in the present and being in the now. Some spiritual teachers and great sages have shared their experience of waking up one morning in this state of grace and never going back to ordinary consciousness or suffering. For most of us though, achieving this oneness takes the same quality it takes to get to Carnegie Hall, practice, practice, practice.

What ever we see as our ultimate spiritual goal, living in the present moment deepens our experience. Depending on your religious affiliation and predilection, the experience of being in the moment is also being with God. That is what all the great spiritual leaders have found for themselves and have taught others. I can name countless wonderful books and teachers that speak of being and living in the present moment. Every tradition has its mystical teachings that speak of unity consciousness and all-at-one-ment.

What do we do when we are unable to sustain being in the now? Just know that when it comes to transformation there is no quick fix for most of us. Spiritual by-passing, jumping over or getting rid of the ego, can feel like a futile endeavor. It may work for a while but for authentic movement toward finding our wholeness, we must be impeccable in our observation of what is inside of us.

What most of us will find is that we do worry about the future and react from the past. This is all part of our human journey. Taking the next step involves dealing head on with what ever arises in the moment, whether it is a worry or a fear. Difficulties are an opportunity to start building our muscles toward being in the present. Being with the truth of what ever arises creates a healthy ego.

Psychotherapy, as well as many spiritual practices, can help us deal with those internal thoughts and feelings from our personal histories that cause our suffering.

Let’s remember that when we work with the ego and our humanity, we can integrate into a consciousness that is healed enough to tolerate whatever life brings. Doing this develops personal maturity and an unshakable sense of “self” allowing the ego to relax which helps sustain and stabilize “being in the now.”

About the Author:

Dr. Jennifer Howard is a licensed psychotherapist, healer, author, relationship counselor, and professional speaker with more than 20 years of experience in helping people make changes in their lives. She’s created a personal development plan and assists people in personal development and spiritual growth through her lectures, workshops, and her upcoming book, Changes That Last. She has offices in Huntington, Long Island, NY, and New York City, is a leading expert on spirituality and psychology, and is a former faculty of the graduate program of A Society of Souls. Dr. Howard has been frequently seen as an expert and featured guest on national television shows including, The Maury Povich Show, Turning Point, America’s Talking, Rolanda, Charles Perez, Les Brown and others. Right now, Dr. Howard is offering a free downloadable MP3 of her recent lecture, “The Intelligence of the Heart” to anyone who subscribes to her free ezine. Along with the free MP3 members of the site can read articles written by Dr. Howard, gain access to the online Virtual Meditation Room with guided and visual meditations, and more. For more about, Click Here.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.comBeing in the Now

Note – Since this article was first published, there have been some changes to articlesbase.com. I have simply left the original links intact. — MC


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Freudian Slips – Glitch in the machine or key to countless possibilities?

Most of us know about Freudian Slips. Many of us make them. Every now and then Freudian Slips creep into my own speech and writing.

Sometimes I’ll miss a typo and, on correcting it, consider what the apparent “mistake” might suggest in a bigger picture.

Critics to this worldview might say I have an overactive imagination or that I associate ideas because I want to fit them into my particular cosmology.†

That’s a good thing to keep in mind. Possibly some insane people can’t tell the difference between intuitive connections and imaginative fabrications. But that doesn’t mean that all intuitive connections are crazy. We have to apply reason, experience and humility to sort through it all. Catholics call this discernment. Other religions also try to separate insight from delusion.

So is your particular cosmology adamantly individualistic or about a greater connectivity? How about some intelligent combination of the two?

The other day I revised this earthpages.ca entry about Freudian Slips. It raises some questions that could become increasingly relevant in our collective future. — MC

† The word “cosmology” isn’t just about planets and stars; technically, it means how one sees and understands the world—inside, outside and beyond.

Freudian Slips – Glitch in the machine or key to countless possibilities?

FC&P New York Cocktail Party shoot: Is he envious of my ciggie?

Alexandra Xubersnak – FC&P New York Cocktail Party shoot: Is he envious of my ciggie? via Flickr

Parapraxis, the Freudian Slip

Parapraxis is an obscure word for a pretty common idea—The Freudian Slip. The founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, was the first to try to analytically explain its occurrence.

In the Psychopathology of Everyday Life Freud says parapraxes are unintentional acts resulting from an unconscious wish, desire, attitude or thought.¹

This could involve forgetting names and sequences of words. But classic examples of parapraxes are slips of the pen or tongue.

Imagine a guest at a cocktail party accidentally saying, “I love your horse” instead of, “I love your house.”

For Freud, the hidden, unconscious meaning of the slip points to… Read More

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Looking through a glass darkly – The paranormal, normal and bias

English: That's me.

(Photo: Wikipedia)

Sometimes I hesitate to talk about the paranormal. On the one hand, we have fanatics and hack investigators running after every Photoshopped image, blowing their alleged significance way out of proportion. On the other hand, we have diehard skeptics so regimented in their thinking that they tend to readily dismiss anything ‘paranormal.’

I think the best approach is to apply reason and experience to any kind of human belief—be it based on interior or exterior data. The following entry at earthpages.ca works toward that aim:

The Latin prefix para means beside or beyond. Like the word supernatural, paranormal refers to any phenomenon that eludes explanation through normal science or conventional wisdom.

Paranormal can be a misleading term because what is ‘normal’ is open to debate and subject to change… Read More

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Stuff Jeff Reads really nails the essence of Ram Dass


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Paranoia – When the line becomes blurry

From shower curtains to tin foil hats. Here’s a post at earthpages.ca that takes a look at paranoia without lobotomizing the upper half of possibilities, as most ‘learned’ discourses do.